Under His Greasy Hair
by hoping4fame
Summary: He watched a steady river of blood venture down her torso...the boy retreated deeper into the corner and buried his face in his hands." Severus has had a tough childhood which shapes who he becomes. Deep down, he's always cared.
1. The Distraught Beginning

**Disclaimer**: I do not own these characters. They've all been created by JK Rowling. I've only made up the name for one of them. I am in no way making money off of this writing and do not intend to. I wrote it for the **fun of it**.   
  
**Author's note**: One of the characters we know to be very mean and uncaring is out of character in this chapter. He will be out of character for a while in this story. It's showing how he turned into who he is. If you do not like the idea, you will not like this. That is a fair warning. I don't want any rude emails or reviews telling me about this. Also, to **anyone** who wants to leave me a **flame**, they will be posted in an author's note in upcoming chapters for people to see and laugh at. I'd think twice about doing so. Thank you for your understanding.  
  
"Thaddeus! How can you do this to our son? You're going to ruin his future, his chance to be brought up in a good home. Do you not see how he looks at you? You scare him half to death. For heaven's sake, he trembles when he gets within four feet of you. Not only are you ruining our son, Thaddeus, you are ruining yourself. The longer you are loyal to You-Know-Who, the longer you are a stupid Death Eater, the slimmer the chances of bettering yourself. If you make one mistake that You-Know-Who doesn't like, you may not even **GET** another chance," shouted a small-framed woman as she brushed a lock of her long, dark hair off her brow, which was now sweating profusely.   
  
The clock had just chimed twelve times and the sky was the famous midnight black that most people didn't witness because they were sound asleep. The blanket of air that covered London was still and quiet. It was extremely hot considering the time of night. However, it wasn't just the weather that made the night rare. The screaming match that was underway inside Number 27 Crescent Court was a key factor in making the night an unpleasent gem. It was by far the most rigorous argument the family ever had.  
  
"Me ruining that mistake's life? Ha! The funny thing is I could be yelling the same thing at him. Do you know how shameful it is for me to have a son with a fool who thinks Muggles are equal to wizards? Frankly, I don't care what the brat thinks of me. I am who I am. I can't change that. I won't change that, especially for someone like you or Severus. Besides, if it hadn't been for your mother, you wouldn't be here yelling at me for setting a bad example for your precious Sevy-poo. She forced me to marry the minute she found out I got you pregnant. Then again, if you hadn't been such a tramp and had just said no to me like you really wanted to, we wouldn't be sailing on this ship now." As he spoke, his mouth opened so wide, it seemed as if it was a large, black hole leading to a soul full of selfish thoughts and hatred. It was only fitting that the man had dark, ravenous hair, for anything lighter would not have matched his mouth and heart so well.  
  
The small woman ran at the man with flailing arms. There was such a horrific look on her face. This look could have excavated all of your happiness faster than a dementor. The enormous amount of hatred that now resided in her distorted her normally gentle facial features.  
  
"Don't do that to me woman!" Thaddeus slowly crept towards her as the words escaped him. He raised his hand readying to slap her. The woman doubled back meekly, cowering to avoid a painful blow.  
  
Gazing into the thunderous kitchen from the adjoined living room in the darkest, most shadowed corner was a small boy the age of six. He had been reading a picture book by the light of a miniature flashlight to himself trying to escape from this gloomy reality. He did this a lot and usually it got his mind off his parents. This time, though, it hadn't worked. He couldn't block the sound and now, his eyes were bulging and his jaw was extended to the floor in disbelief. His horror-struck cheeks, were linen white, much paler than usual. The tall, hook-nosed man's hand met his mother's pink skin and a tear glided slowly down his cheek.  
  
Thaddeus shot a look the boy's way and slapped her again.  
  
"Thaddeus, please. Please…" Her voice trailed off. The boy watched a steady river of blood venture down her torso, staining her dressing robe. Not being able to bear the sight any longer, the boy retreated deeper into the corner and buried his face in his hands. He was trying to muffle his sobs so his father would not turn and hit him. Feelings were buzzing in his head. He wasn't sure whether to feel angry towards his father or to feel proud for his mother. She was taking this abuse for him. He'd never known a better person. Severus had never known too many people though. He'd never had many friends. Many kids were too scared to come into his house. They knew of his father's reputation and occupation, if you could call it that. Not to mention, Severus resembled his father, including the greasy hair that stained his forehead and the over-sized hooknose. Kids often used it as an excuse to poke fun at him.  
  
Just when he thought it was all over, he heard a loud crash. Hesitantly, he uncovered his innocent blue eyes. The scene was a nightmare, something straight out of a horror movie.   
  
His mother's limp body lay lifeless on the floor, severely bruise. His father stood at her feet.  
  
"I warned you. I told you not to insult me again." He declared this as if she could still hear his words as he slowly backed away.   
  
"Mum.." uttered the boy.  
----  
Four years later, Severus Snape woke up suddenly in a cold sweat gasping for breath. He felt as if someone was forcing him to the bottom of a very deep body of water. Pressure was closing in on him from every angle.  
  
"Not again. Not again," he said, repeating the words over and over in a hushed voice.  
  
He'd been dreaming about that horrible night every time he went to sleep, each time waking up in worse condition than before.  
  
Severus sat straight up in the eerie darkness of his closet-sized bedroom. The weather conditions outside the Snape residence were the same as they had been that fateful night exactly four years ago. The inside, however, was just as uncomforting as it had been during the actual night after remembering the events in the awful nightmare form. He couldn't expect much compassion though, as no room in the house possessed it since his mom had passed on.  
  
"Four years, Mum. Four years tonight," Severus said. He was talking out loud in hopes him mother could hear him from her final resting place. "Life here on Crescent Court has been so hard without you. Father's rarely returning home from what he calls his 'conferences' and when he is here, he does nothing but threaten me. He says the curses and spells he saved killing you are now reserved for me. Just this evening, he said, 'Don't piss me off, boy. With the mood I'm in tonight, I **won't** think twice about using Avada Kedavra on you.'  
  
"Oh Mum, I'm so scared. I leave for my first year at Hogwarts in two weeks. It's going to feel so good getting out of here, getting away from Father. Although, I know I'm going to gain another burden at school. I know I won't make friends. Regardless of all your reassuring when I was little, kids never liked me and they still don't. Just yesterday, in Diagon Alley, two boys picked on me. Asked me if I caught any fish with that hook. I know they were talking about my nose…" Severus' trailed off. He was drawn into a daydream by his own words, 'Just yesterday in Diagon Alley.' He didn't speak this part of his story aloud. It was much too personal for that.  
  
He envisioned himself back in dusty Flourish and Blotts bookshop looking for a second hand copy of Standard Book of Spells One when her auburn hair brushed gracefully across his right arm. He looked up and was awestruck by two round emeralds. No, not emeralds, eyes. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. This girl was as beautiful as the angels of Heaven even though her hair was tied in a messy ponytail that rested on the back of her milky white neck and the small jam stain on the neck of her sweater. Her smile was sincere and her teeth were white and shiny, comparable to the façade of a pearl.  
  
He hadn't intended to stare and turned ten shades of red when he heard her voice.  
  
"Um, sorry to ask, but what is so interesting?"  
  
Yes, these simple words had slapped Severus back to a harsh reality. "Nothing. I was just thinking about Hogwarts."  
  
"Hogwarts? I'm going there at the start of the school term. I'm going to be a first year. What about you?"  
  
Severus did not want to screw up anymore, so he decided to smoothly brush his long locks out of his face. "I am, too."  
  
What do you think your favorite subject will be? Mine will probably be Defense Against the Dark Arts. I've been reading up a bit on it and it's just absolutely fascinating. Not to mention utterly useful."  
  
"Yeah." He didn't quite agree. Despite the fact that he loathed his father with a burning passion, he didn't like the thought of someone using spells and jinxes to take him away. Thaddeus was the only family Severus had and family was better than an orphanage as blood is much thicker than water.  
  
Gathering up all of the courage burrowed deep inside of him, he put on his best yet still very crooked smile and was able to stammer on last sentence. "I-I'm Severus. Wha-What did you say your name was?  
"I didn't, Severus. I'm.." A tap on the shoulder from a middle-aged woman interrupted her. _That's probably her mother_, Severus thought.  
  
The older woman backed up motioning for the girl to follow. "Oh, I'm sorry. I have to go. See you on the train, Severus!"  
  
She waved. Severus tried to. If only he'd been faster. She would have seen him.  
  
As she walked away, Severus slowly remembered he was in his room, not Flourish and Blotts. "Sorry, Mum," he said to the emptiness apologetically. " I really wish you could be here."  
  
Moments later, a cool gentle breeze floated through the open window. It continued gliding until it wrapped itself around Severus, feeling to him exactly like one of his beloved mother's nestling embraces.  
  
"Thank you, Mum," he declared as if it really was his mother.   
  
The sensation of love burst through the room. Severus sat back and breathed in deeply, soaking up every possible drop of the fresh air. It tasted cool and refreshing, like lemonade on a warm day. The scent of hatred was vanquished, no longer lingering in the atmosphere.   
  
"Severus! What are you talking about? Who on Earth are you talking to? Who's up there?"  
  
"No one, Father. Just…no one," he replied.  
  
"Then shut up and go back to sleep. I **don't** want to have to come up there, boy!"  
  
Severus lay back down. He heard other voices downstairs. Thaddeus had brought his fellow Death Eaters home with him. He thrust his flat pillow over top of his head trying to block out their evil plotting. Soon enough, his eyes fluttered shut and snores were erupting regularly from his mouth. It was the first dreamless sleep he had had in days.


	2. Crowded Kitchen

Chapter Two: Crowded Kitchen

Several hours later, a glistening ray of sunshine attempted to flood the room through the long, gray curtains that cascaded from the top of the window. After wriggling its way in, an ounce or so of the golden light landed on the tip of Severus' nose. As if on cue, his eyes popped open and a yawn escaped from his mouth.

He listened, but heard nothing. His father's snores weren't swimming down the hall and other men's voices weren't bouncing around the house. He wasn't being ordered to do chores or cook breakfast- scrambled eggs, bacon and a side of toast with strawberry preserves. Severus was home alone and decided to embrace the peace. He clamored out of his wrinkled bed linens and placed his feet firmly on the floor. It was nice for Severus to be able to take his time for once.

He stood up and pulled on a pair of crisp, blue jeans and a fresh, clean white tee shirt. He knew today was going to be a good one. His hardest decision of the morning was what to do first. Slowly, Severus looked around his neat yet barely furnished room; his eyes settled on the large pile of books on the floor. "Can't do magic outside of school, but nobody said I couldn't read about it." Severus said the words out loud as if he had to prove to a silent jury he wasn't doing anything wrong.

Smiling with self-content, he selected the most appealing texts and headed to the back porch. The porch was anything but special; the ivory paint was peeling. The chairs had cracks galore, and the neighbor's dog barked anytime a muscle was moved. Regardless of its unkempt appearance, Severus liked it. It was his link to the outside world- a world his father did not regulate and ruin- yet he didn't have to associate with anyone. His father had never set foot out there, so it also acted as a safe haven when Severus needed to get away from the gloom.

He examined the three, run-down white wicker chairs and sat in the one that appeared to be the safest. He then chose a book from his pile and stacked the rest neatly alongside the unleveled chair feet. With just a glimpse at the title, Hogwarts: A History, he was taken into a world of daydreams. Yes, a school full of bewitched ceilings, floating candles, ghosts, an elite teaching staff and a talking, thinking hat was just the place he wanted to be. Severus especially liked the part about the hat. It was able to read your mind and sort you into one of the four school houses! He read the three pages over and over again until he had them memorized. Curiosity then got the better of him. Which of the houses would he be put into? Ravenclaw perhaps? He definitely had a ready mind; he loved reading and learning anything he could. Indeed, Ravenclaw was more than a possibility. Severus was sure that's where he would go.

He continued to read Hogwarts: A History and the rest of his pile. By the time he closed his last book, Magical Drafts and Potions, he felt drained and hungry; he hadn't eaten breakfast. Severus trudged back into the empty house and made himself some supper. "I wish we had a house elf. All of Father's friends have one," Severus thought out loud.

"What was that boy?" Severus heard a pop and was greeted by his father's raspy voice.

"Nothing. Never mind," Severus replied.

"Really? Because that nothing sounded a lot like I wish we had a house elf, but you know how I feel about those things."

"Yes, Father. They are disgusting and dreadful, utterly unworthy to grace a wizard's presence."

"Severus! You've surprised me! I'm flabbergasted that you listen to what I say; that's very good to know. Now, hand me that roast chicken and Yorkshire pudding. That Black fellow and a few others are coming here to discuss a mission."

Severus looked down at the plate he was holding. He'd only prepared enough for one, not expecting his father to pop in. Reluctantly, he thrust the plate down on the cherry wood table directly in front of where his father was sitting. Thaddeus began shoveling the food into his mouth like a starving lion. Severus couldn't bear to watch. He ran away like a small child, his eyes covered and his stomach rumbling.

Once he was in his room with his legs crossed on his bed, he felt his face grow white hot. His skin was bright white like an unused bed sheet, giving off the appearance that he had been burned. _What is it going to take for him to respect me? _Severus thought. _Why can't I have a father who wants to teach me how to become a star Quidditch chaser? Why can't I have a father that wants to teach me how to talk to girls? _Girls. The word interrupted his thoughts. Once again, he was taken back to the scene in Flourish and Blotts where he had been talking to the girl with long, red hair. She actually made him want to be at school more than he had- a next to impossible task.

"School!" Severus shouted. "The train leaves tomorrow! I'm not packed! Father doesn't know he has to take me to the station!" Severus leapt of the bed, sticking a landing that would have scored him a perfect ten in a national gymnastics competition.

He skated across the hardwood floor; his white socks grayed due to the remains of greasy floor polish and small dust particles. In a few seconds, he was standing in the kitchen amongst a dozen men that looked angry at his interruption.

"Father, the Hogwarts train leaves tomorrow at 11. You're going to be able to take me, aren't you?" Severus asked in his polite, respectful voice.

"You're sending your son to Hogwarts? Hogwarts of all places? The staff there allows mudbloods to be taught. I don't believe someone of your status in Master's eyes could pull a stunt like that," said a balding man entering his early fifties. A stubbly white beard was sprouting from his chin.

" I didn't have much of a choice. Closest school to here. Easiest access to him if Master needs me to move about the country." Thaddeus reacted as if he had the excuse memorized and ready for playback at any minute. "Black's sending his son there, as well."

A man sunk down in his chair, hiding his reddening cheeks with his hands. He was obviously Black and he was obviously embarrassed.

"Are you going to be able to take me to the station tomorrow?" Severus asked again.

Thaddeus did not reply. Instead, he grabbed his son by the shoulder of his tee shirt and dragged him out of the kitchen. "I'll teach you to embarrass me." He tightened his grip on the shirt, causing his shirtsleeve to slide down. It revealed a green skull tattoo; the skull had a smirk and a snake slithering out of his mouth.

Severus hit every step on the way to his room. His arms and legs were already bruising severely. At last, Thaddeus tossed him onto his bed. After one loud slap across the face, a slap that left a red handprint, Thaddeus clumsily collected all of Severus' school supplies. The items were tossed three at a time haphazardly into a large trunk.

"What's the rush Father? I can do this. Go back to your conference."

"There is a great rush, boy. Something I should have done along time ago." At the end of his words, the lid of Severus' trunk closed with a thud. _Why is he rushing? What is he going to do to me?_

Now, Severus saw his father shutting the large, antique brass latch and ensuring it was closed with Severus' combination lock. He picked up the heavy luggage by one handle and made his way to the stairs. "Follow me boy."

Severus followed obediently, brushing his hair out of his face. He longed to know what was going on. His puzzled expression showed that. After another chorus of thudding on the stairs, though this time it was the trunk, Thaddeus reached the front door. He cradled the doorknob in his hand and turned it slowly, embracing each second that went by.

Finally, the door was open and one of Thaddeus' icy white fingers was pointing to the blackness of the street. "Since you're so excited to get to the station, leave now. You should be there by ten if my calculations are correct."

"How am I to sleep? Besides, Father, that's 35 miles to walk!" Severus was standing up to his father, something he had never done before.

"Leave NOW! Thaddeus' voice was booming; the words shot to the rafters. "You should make it there by ten!"

Laughter was spilling into the entry hall from the nasty men in the kitchen. Severus finally caught on. His father was kicking him out. He reached down to grab the trunk's handle with the steadiest hands he'd ever had. He didn't weep; he didn't whimper. His face was expressionless, icy and cold. He walked courageously out the door.

The night was kind to him. The moon was bright, making him feel safe. He enjoyed the heavy silence, the misty air. He wished he had a time capsule to capture the moment in forever.

Severus walked on for several hours straight. His feet, in ratty old tennis, were aching-throbbing- miserably. His eyes were getting heavy, and it took much of his strength to keep the lids separated.

_Maybe I'll just sit down for a second, _thought Severus as he made his way to the curb. He sat down and wrapped his arms around his sore legs. He was a powerless little boy as his eyes fluttered shut and the night surroundings absorbed him, taking him into a world of dreams.


End file.
